1 September

Recipes for success

Add August notes and photos to your Christmas letter, but only if they’re more interesting than those you already have.

Perhaps you have enough recipe ideas now to warrant some organisation. If so, index them by course/occasion (morning tea, nibbles, mains and so forth).[1] Inside those categories, order them by their primary ingredients (because even if you’ve found six great pork recipes, you’ll probably only cook one).[2] Include either the actual recipe if you’ve torn it from a magazine[3] or printed it from an email your friend sent you, or the location if it’s in one of your cookbooks or you’ve found it online.

Whisk two kilograms of recipes with half a cooking show.

Christmas Day 1970: Linda was assigned to scrape the plates and take the scraps out and there were so many she had to make two trips. “It’s Christmas for the chooks too,” she said, and we made jokes about how to decorate a poultry pen and what would be in chicken crackers.[4] She said they didn’t recognise the turkey shards as kin but I still wondered if they were cannibals.

[1] My brother Matthew says “all-day grazing” is a legitimate Christmas meal.

[2] Unless you’re all very, very fond of pork.

[3] My friend Carol was banned from her local fish and chip shop for tearing recipes from their magazines. She said she lost two kilos because she wasn’t eating takeaways on Fridays and wasn’t cooking so many Women’s Weekly classic slices, so she recommends the punishment to all.

[4] Shell grit and yummy beetles.

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