28 May

Cow and possum

Are you looking for a skit for your Christmas concert? You may use this one of mine if you like and if you acknowledge me as the author. Hannah and I originally did it with a cow puppet and a possum puppet – hence the name – but you could do it with different puppets or as actual people.[1]

Note that Possum is excitable and increasingly annoyed and Cow is placid and ponderous throughout.

 

28 may 2016.jpg
That’s ridiculous! That’s stupid!

POSSUM:       Would you like to play Twenty Questions?

COW:              Yes, that would be good.

POSSUM:       Do you want to choose a person?

COW:              Okay.

POSSUM:       Have you got one?

COW:              Yes.

POSSUM:       Okey-dokey: is it a female?

COW:              Yes.

POSSUM:       Is she alive?

COW:              Yes.

POSSUM:       So, that’s two questions so far?

COW:              No: six.

POSSUM:       Six! It couldn’t possibly be six! There’s no way…. hold on: did you count it when I asked if you if it was two questions so far?

COW:              Yes.

POSSUM:       And when I asked if you’d chosen a person? And when I asked you if you wanted to play Twenty Questions?

COW:              Yes. And yes.

POSSUM:       That is not the way you play Twenty Questions! Do you really think this is normal?

COW:              Yes: it’s the way I play Twenty Questions.

POSSUM:       That’s ridiculous! That’s stupid! That’s [SUDDENLY RESIGNED]…. all right, we’ll play it your way. So we’re up to six questions?

COW:              It’s eleven now.

POSSUM:       Oh, this is not fair at all! You don’t really think this is fair, do you?

COW:              Perfectly fair.

POSSUM:       Well how about you count out loud as we go from now on, so that I know where we’re up to? Can you fit that into your stupid rules?

COW:              Yes, I can: fourteen.

POSSUM:       Fourteen and I’ve hardly started! I have no hope! …Have I already asked if she’s alive?

COW:              Yes. Fifteen.

POSSUM:       That doesn’t count! It’s just a confirmation of the second question! What makes you think you can count that?

COW:              Because it’s a question. Sixteen.

POSSUM:       So, was she alive?

COW:              Yes. Seventeen.

POSSUM:       Okay, so she’s an alive female?

COW:              Yes. Eighteen.

POSSUM:       No! That was introspection: I wasn’t asking you!

COW:              You get twenty questions regardless of who you ask.

POSSUM:       Eighteen! I’ve only got two questions left?

COW:              Yes. Except that was nineteen so you’ve only got one left now.

POSSUM:       The queen?

COW:              Yes, that’s right. Well done.

[1] Shy performers can sometimes be persuaded to do puppet shows so do bear that in mind if some of your gang are retiring types.

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