Here’s how to make the classic potato salad that people expect at barbecues:
- Peel and boil some potatoes.
- When they’re cool, dice them.
- Mix in just enough mayonnaise to hold it all together.
To fancy it up a little bit, add chopped parsley or chives or spring onions. To fancy it up a lot (which is entirely appropriate for Christmas), add bacon, hard‑boiled eggs, gherkins, anchovies or capers and sprinkle it with chopped herbs or with salad seeds. Or you can swap the mayo for a yoghurt or sour cream dressing.
Hannah was home for dinner tonight and we had the plain version of classic potato salad which went very well with the fancy sausages I got from my fancy butcher.
“So when are you going to introduce Dylan to Mum?” asked Jeremy, over his second helping.
“Who?” I asked.
“The hot guy Hannah was with last night,” said Jeremy. “Danni and I ran into them at the movies.”
“He’s a dud,” said Hannah. “He’s off the list.”
“He seemed nice,” said Jeremy.
“Only for the first five minutes,” explained Hannah. “After that, he’s pompous and self-righteous.”
“You’re too fussy,” said Jeremy. “I think you’re going to have to start researching parthenogenesis.”
“There are others on the list,” said Hannah. “In fact, there’s quite a queue. And I have a plan B to fall back on if they’re all duds like Dylan.”
I’m trying to work out what Plan B is. (Maybe she is researching parthenogenesis!)
 My cousin Brian once added chopped lavender leaves because he didn’t know his own herb garden.